As I said before, I was asked about the top three most significant aspects of my life.
Although they were not the things of fairy tales they have impacted my life in a way that can never be erased. The first was when I lost my mom, the worst day of my life, the second was when she spoke a statement that I will never forget.I was sitting in her bed and she could still speak at this point. It was when I came back from school and they had found the cancer had spread into he brain. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner, but at that point she was trying to tell me something. So, as I'm sitting with her she tells me "it's going to be ok." I looked at her and instantly lost my composure. I should be the one reassuring her not the other way around. My response was of course that she didn't know that, and her face relaxed and she just smiled (that million dollar smile) and said "Lindsay loo, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of not being here, if only for the fact that I am lucky enough to have a life that I would envy... Not in the things but in the people, the experiences, my love and partner and of course my beautiful little girl. I'm not afraid to die ."
I don't think there was a dry eye between either of us that night. I saw my stepdad approach the door, and he stared for a second, and could tell this was a time for just us. The woman in front of me was the strongest woman I had ever and will ever know, and had to battle her way through life, but she had created a rarity. She had created, lived and loved a life that not only looked good on the outside, but most importantly felt good on the inside.
It was at this point it really hit me: life is really too short and in order to obtain that kind of life, you must create it. Even when everything is stacked against you. I saw myself utilizing this experience in my most recent life decision. I knew that in the current situation I was creating something that looked good on the outside, but it looked and felt completely different on the inside. So I took the leap, the leap that was right for me.
I will never forget these words and work everyday to ensure that I am creating a life ( as my mom said) I myself would envy: not because of the things, but because the feelings, the experiences and the people.
