That's Not Fair...Life's Not Fair

When I was younger I used to respond to every "you can't do that" or "no" with "THAT'S NOT FAIR"

Unfailingly (my own terminology) my Mom responded with "Life's not fair honey." To preface this my mom was "the mom." The woman who would stay up until midnight with me because I had no ability to sew my home ec project and basically the reason I am today, so this response was about as blunt and (what I thought at the time) as rude of comment that ever left her lips. Until my junior year in highschool these responses somewhat made sense, why I couldn't go on a date with a guy two years my elder, or why my curfew was midnight not one o'clock like everyone else's.

Then she got sick. And suddenly, although she had told me a million times that life wasn't fair, it was what she wasn't telling me: Life's not only not fair, but it doesn't owe us anything and at times it doesn't make sense.

I remember that day like it was yesterday (cliche I know). My stepdad and mom sat me down and explained to me that my mom had cervical cancer and a large tumor and they were going to do everything to beat it. It all didn't seem real, like I had jumped into a Lifetime movie or teen melodrama.

And it continued to seem like a sick joke until the day my mom came home, still beautiful as ever, with a her clean shaven head and that symbol made everything sickeningly, punch to the stomach real. All I remember is crying and we looked at each other and said the same thing "Life's NOT fair"

My Mom and I