Disappointment

If you don't have expectations, you won't be disappointed right?

We all get disappointed, its life. My disappointment is no different. Disappointment comes from "getting our hopes" up, and everyone says if you don't get your hopes up you won't get hurt.

I disagree. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that disappointment is a good thing. It's not. It hurts, it's messy, it might make us cry and pardon my French, but it down right sucks. But that doesn't mean I would give up hoping. Hoping is a risk, but aren't the best things?

Disappointment also comes from caring (and I'm not about to stop doing that either). I read something that really caught my eye:

"Sometimes we expect more from others, because we would be willing to do that for them."

After thinking this over, I realize that's why disappointment really hurts. It makes us realize we would never do the same to the other person, nor has the thought ever/ or would ever even cross our minds. We would do anything in our power to  try and keep that person from hurting, and when they disappoint us; it makes us question how the other person truly feels about us in return.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but I'm no stranger to disappointment. And for some reason, I never give up. I keep on trying. And some people may call this weak or even stupid, but in my opinion it's the opposite. I'm strong enough and care enough to put myself out there for disappointment, and with that accept the consequences.

Life's not always a bed of roses, nor do I expect anything from it return. And yes, sometimes it's disappointing, but in the end I would rather be the one that cared too much, than the one who gave up to protect myself. In the end, I'd rather take my chances on the good, than never put myself out there to avoid the disappointing.

Denial

Now I for one have never met a Sex and the City marathon I don't like

The inner workings of Carrie Bradshaw are sometimes just what I need to gain perspective on a situation (I'm not afraid to admit it). 

Yesterday she brought up denial. We can deny simple things such as we're not getting older, the number simply changes and we remain the same, or more serious matters such as going against our better judgement to deny what is right in front of our eyes. But in some cases, is denial a blessing, a glimmer of hope, possibly a positive coping mechanism?

My mind began swirling around the things that I had been in denial about in the past and the outcomes from keeping voluntary blinders over my eyes and my thoughts. 

And really looking back, denial was one of the best coping mechanisms there was for me with my Mom. Not because I was in denial that her cancer was getting worse, or in complete denial that it was there at all, but instead because denial (in its entirety) can simply allow you to push the not-so-pretty (thoughts, actions etc) into the back of your mind and allow you to continue with your daily life. At some point denial stems from hope, and sometimes its just what the doctors ordered.

As long as we able to understand that denial does not shape reality, and that it is a temporary escape... is it really deserving of such a bad reputation?