Instinct and Intellect

It's the typical head vs heart battle, so which one do you follow?

For someone as plan centered and realistic as I consider myself, this is a battle won and lost. Many times I can even talk myself out of emotion or a feeling because it doesn't seem "logical."

But, when it comes to the question of the head vs. the heart vs. our gut which one is right? I mean we always say "use your head" when making a decision, but which is really the deciding factor?

It is always smart [no pun intended] to put your intellect foot forward, to think of possibilities, realities and consequences but if we only listened to our intellect, where would we be. Per usual I read a quote on the subject today and it made me think about my safe bets I've taken, the times I've listened too much to my head. The times I've settled for comfortable or good enough.

"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down."

It seems like such a basic idea, but we dismiss it more often than not. There's a reason they also say listen to your gut. Your gut is that middle line between your head and your heart, and although we can ignore it, it's always there with us tapping on our shoulder with the truth even if we try and deny it. It's that feeling in our stomachs that tells you "I know your worrying, but this is what you should do." It's the everything-will-be-alright that we can rely on even in the most chaotic situation.

I guess there isn't a straight and narrow answer to the question because it's a group effort. I've mentioned where our head plays a role and our gut. But our heart the most emotional aspect of it all, our heart should always be involved in matters of the head, and we should use our head to help us evaluate  matters of the heart, and trust our gut to let us know our instinctual feelings.

And in the end, our mind can fight us, but an even simpler, truer quote explains it all "follow your heart, even though it's on your left, it's always right."

You Are Here

The presence people have in your life goes beyond a geographic pin on a map.

People live in various places on  others (let me explain). They can live in a geographic location close to you, they live on our tounges when speaking about them, they live in our brains and the most exclusive location, they can have a place in our hearts. Today I received an amazing gift that I'll admit it brought me into happy tears. An anatomical heart necklace with a stamped engraving "you are here."  

It made be start thinking about where people are in my life if I were going to map them out. People can physically be in your life,but although they are there physically, they may not be present to you where it matters most. On the other hand, there are those not geographically next to you, but they have a presence in the most important places. They have your attention and interest and an indelible place in your heart ( no matter how hard you've tried to fight it, resistance is futile).

It's interesting to look at this perspective of where people are in your life. Thinking over where would you pin their "you are here" sign.  It makes you ask yourself the tough questions, and bring clarity to your thoughts. And  I think it also makes people wonder , where others would pin their map locations as well, because in that moment, we realize where we hope it would be.

Excuse my swimsuit top, but this small gesture not only brought the biggest smile to my face but a few happy tears

Different Names for the Same Thing

Words are a funny thing period.

I went out with one of my best guy friends from college. He and his girlfriend and I went out including drinks, dinner and some dancing (quite the adventure). As I'm getting ready to leave he pulled me aside to get my thoughts on her and I poised the same question back to him. He immediately started  squirming and I could tell he wanted to say something.

He wiggled his way around telling me what he wanted about her using words to work around what he really wanted to say. It really made me think. As a lover of words, words are a funny thing. They have a power we don't always realize because once words leave our mouths, they become a real thing (it's true using it?). The right words from the right people can make your day, just as the wrong words from the right people can break your day.

Words can make us feel comfortable and they can either protect us (thus my sarcastic everyday dialogue) or they can make us feel vulnerable. One of the ways they make us feel comfortable is by allowing us to put different names to the same thing (sometimes in phrases and explanations). This way if we don't get the response we're looking for it's much easier to walk our way or explain our way out of it so we don't always have to really put ourselves out there.

This is our security blanket, because if we said what we really meant, we can't take the words back. They're out in the atmosphere and we have no control of other people's feelings or reactions to them. I also came to the conclusion that in some matters I do this as well. I stick a toe in to test the waters( work with the word play) , instead of just doing a cannonball ( saying exactly the things I want).  ( An interesting comparison for someone who can't swim, the irony is not lost on me).

Now for someone like me who says exactly what they're thinking 98% of the time this may be hard to believe but there's still that 2% where I safeguard myself as well.

I feel like I also need to take more of my own advice ....  As he was working his way around his words I looked him in the eye and said " today junior, you know what you want to say. What's the worst that could happen."

And it's true. If we're working our way around something we want to say, what good does that do us? We still want to say it, it just tiptoes around the topic.

Why not jump and say what you want. Call a spade a spade. As I told my friend last night (and as I
need to remember) ...


What is the worst that could happen?  If we don't say what we want how will we ever get it?